


You’re all I want And I knew it from the very first moment

by DarknessTurnsMeOn



Series: This Could Be Heaven [1]
Category: Avengers, Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America, Marvel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 04:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12246666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknessTurnsMeOn/pseuds/DarknessTurnsMeOn
Summary: After a night they don’t even remember, Bucky and Y/N find themselves having to deal with an unexpected little surprise.





	You’re all I want And I knew it from the very first moment

**Author's Note:**

> Song of the title : Can I Be Him, James Arthur

 

 

 

My head is pounding, I should never have drunk so much mojitos last night at Tony’s party. Well if it was only for the mojitos, I’ve been stupid to accept some of Thor’s asgardian liquor as well. The sun shines too hard through my bedroom window despite the thick curtains.  
  
“Oh fucking hell, my head”, I groan.  
  
I try to sit but something keeps me from doing it. Something heavy and warm, something breathing. I’m lying on my stomach and something, I should rather say someone, is lying upper body on my back, legs tangled with mine, a warm arm wrap around my waist. He snores softly, oh yes, I say he, because I can feel something hard on my hip, and doesn’t seem to be disturbed by the fact that I’m awake and want to get up. I push on my arms, trying to force him to get off of me. He doesn’t move and his grip only tightens around my body. Nice, my one-night stand is clingy type, I’m never going to manage to get rid of him. Once again, I push on my arms, harder this time, and I finally set myself free from the weight on my back. A rumble rises next to me when my stranger’s back hits the mattress.  
  
“What the hell ?!”  
  
I freeze, recognizing the husky voice next to me. I turn my head towards the sound of the man next to me and find the last person I desire to have in my bed.  
  
“What the fuck Barnes ?! Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed ?!”, I shout.  
  
“Hey doll, stop yelling please, I have a hell of a headache”, Bucky says while rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. When he’s finally awake, mere seconds later, he turns his head and looks at me with a smug grin on his lips. “Well, good morning to you too, sunshine.”  
  
“I’m not your doll ! Once again Barnes, is there a reason you’re naked in my bed ?”, I hiss between my teeth.  
  
“See Y/N, I think there is a good reason that I’m naked in your bed. To borrow our dear Captain’s words, you and I have fondued.”  
  
“What’s makes you so sure about it ?”, I ask.  
  
“Well, first the fact that we are both naked, second the rumpled sheets, third the hickey you have on your neck and to finish, the tossed condoms packaging all around the bed.”. He grins wider. “Do ya need more proofs ?”, he adds.  
  
“You’re disgusting ! Just get out of my bed and of my bedroom. And if you tell what happened last night to anyone, I’m going to kill you.”  
  
“If you say so doll. I’ll keep my mouth shut. I don’t remember anything after all and considering you are also hangover, I don’t think that you remember something too. Do you, at least, allow me the time to get dressed before I have to sneak out ?”  
  
“Go ahead.”  
  
He rises from the bed and I try my best to look away from him and his perfect athletic body streaked with scars, but I can’t help myself and I look at his broad shoulders and chest, his firm abs, his perfect V line, the curve of his ass. Biting my lower lip, my eyes drift back to his gorgeous face, his bright penetrating grey-blue gaze, his plump pink mouth that marked me last night and his perfect jawline. That man seems to have been cast in marble by the gods themselves, he looks like a Greek statue.  
  
“Like what you see doll ?”, his voice takes me back to reality.  
  
“Just get out !”, I shout, grabbing the nearest pillow in order to throw it to his face.  
  
He catches his t-shirt, walks to the door, opens it and winks at me : “See ya later !”  
  
I throw the pillow which end its way onto the door at the second it shuts close. I had a one-night stand with James Buchanan Barnes and neither of us even remember it, I think that’s better that way, at least, it's not going to destroy our friendship. I rub my eyes before wrapping the sheet around my naked body and heading up to the bathroom, I really need a shower and some aspirin too.  
  
Once in the bathroom, I open the glass door of the shower and turn on the hot water. While the hot steam fills the bathroom, I grab my tooth glass and put cold water in it, before taking an aspirin tab in the cabinet above the sink. I shovel the white pill in my mouth and drink it in a gulp. Then I discard the sheet and step into the steamy shower cubicle. The heat wraps me instantly, I feel my sore muscles relaxing under the hot water. My mind drifts away whilst the drops of water fall on my marked skin. I find myself wondering how many times Bucky and I had sex last night and how good it was, after all, have you seen the man ? And I’m only human. Closing my eyes under the pouring water of the shower head, I have the impression to feel his hands and fingers, the contrast of his hot flesh hand and his cold metal one. I start to slide my hands on my wet skin after pouring some soap, still thinking about his strong ones, when a knock on the door takes me out of my fantasies.  
  
“Y/N, are you okay ?”, I recognize Wanda’s sweet voice.  
  
“Yes, everything is alright”, I answer, pulling away my fingers from my hot and bothered body.  
  
“We were worried”, Nat’s voice says this time. “You drank a lot last night, we just wanted to check.”  
  
“Yes, sure. I understand”, I shout to my best friends. “Gimme a minute, I’m coming.”  
  
A few seconds later, I’m turning off the water and step back in my bedroom, a towel around my body and another one in my dripping hair. Nat and Wanda are leaning on one of the walls, smirking at the unmade and messy bed and the empty packages of condoms that litter on the carpet floor.  
  
“Someone had fun last night”, Natasha smiles at me.  
  
“Nat, look !”, Wanda points my neck.  
  
“Oh my, my ! Who was he ? I want to know everything !”, she says while I’m picking clothes in my closet.  
  
“Oh just some guy who was at Tony’s party. That’s no big deal”, I answer taking a pair of blue jeans, a grey t-shirt and underwear before heading back to the bathroom to get dressed. “It was just a one time thing, it’s not gonna happen a second time”, I add, joining the girls in my room. “So, what the both of you ladies think about breakfast out ?”, I propose, knowing that it might not stop them to ask me questions.

  
  
**Two months later**

 

I’m sitting on the toilet seat, waiting for the test to give its verdict. My periods are late and didn’t show up since a little more than a month. Then after a few minutes, the answer appears, I get up and throw the test inside the trash making my way out.

 

**Bucky’s POV**

 

“Why is there a pregnancy test in the bathroom’s trash ?”, I hear Sam’s voice ask, before seeing him heading out of the common bathroom with a blue and white stick.  
  
“Go away with that”, Steve tells him, sipping on his coffee. “That’s disgusting.”  
  
“Oh come on Capcicle, aren’t you even a bit curious about knowing who has a bun in the oven ?”, Tony asks, his mouth full of cereals.  
  
“What if we do like Cap and decide that it’s not our business”, Bruce says, entering the kitchen.  
  
I absently listen to them while pouring some coffee in my mug before sitting next to Bruce.  
  
“So who could it be ?”, Sam asks, scratching his head. “Let’s see which girls we have or had here. Jane, but she only came through to say hello and Thor wasn’t here. Then we have Pe…”  
  
“It can’t be Pepper”, Tony cuts him. “She’s still on business trip. She didn’t set a foot in here for months…”, he adds disappointed.  
  
I can’t help but feeling sorry for him despite all our differences.  
  
“Okay, next girl under that roof”, Sam resumes. “Hope, but Scott only brought her here once.”  
  
“I think you should try with the three girls that constantly live here, that’s a better track”, Bruce suddenly says.  
  
“I thought you wanted to stay outside of that story”, Steve tells him.  
  
“You know as well as I do that he won’t let go”, Bruce replies, grabbing one of the newspapers on the breakfast table.  
  
I roll my eyes, still listening to them, chewing my breakfast.  
  
“Wanda maybe ? But she’s dating Vision, who’s kind of android, so he can’t get her pregnant. I don’t even know if that man has genitals.”  
  
“Very elegant and distinguished, Sam.”  
  
“We then have our gorgeous Natasha.”  
  
“Natasha can’t have kids, remember what she told us about what HYDRA did to her when she graduate.”  
  
This is completely ridiculous. I stand up and walk towards the sink to fill my mug with water.  
  
“So we only have one candidate now : Y/N.”  
  
At the mention of her name, my body stiffens. That woman’s name only does things to me, so I let you guess what it does to me when I see her, I’m smitten by her since day one when Steve brought me back to New York from Wakanda, but she doesn’t seem to see me more than a friend. Fortunately for me, none of them seems to notice, too wrapped in their conversation.  
  
“Do you think she’s the one who’s pregnant ?”, Tony asks, seeming completely surprised. “Our little bookworm ? The quietest person in that tower with Frosty over there ?”  
  
“What makes you think that a girl in that tower is pregnant ?”, I recognize Wanda’s voice asking that question.  
  
“Because of that”, Sam answers and even if I’m not looking at him, I know that he’s showing the pregnancy test.  
  
“And may I ask who you think is pregnant ?”, that’s Natasha who’s asking this time.  
  
“Neither of you, we figured it out that it could be Y/N”, Sam responds.  
  
“Oh god, Nat do you think ?”  
  
“It could be possible.”  
  
“What ?”, Steve, Tony, Bruce and Sam’s voices questioned at the same time.  
  
“Well, the morning after Tony’s party, we headed to her room to see how she was feeling considering all the alcohol she drank and when we stepped in her room, her bed was a mess, there were used condoms and packages all around it, and she had a hickey on her neck. She had a one night stand with one of the guests, but she didn’t tell us who he was.”  
  
My body tenses once again. Tony’s party was two months ago, and I didn’t see her with anyone else ever since. I make a rapid calculation and that only means one thing, that baby is mine.  
  
“Do you think she will tell us who the father is ?”, Wanda asks.  
  
“We can make her confess, maybe”, Natasha says. “But, it’s not gonna be easy, she’s a tomb when you ask her who it was”, she adds.  
  
“Maybe we can check on the security cameras”, Sam exclaims. I’m sure he thinks that it’s a brilliant idea.  
  
I try to recompose myself before facing them, they mustn’t know that I am that baby’s father until I have a conversation with Y/N. I finally turn toward them, glaring at each face present in the kitchen.  
  
“What about leaving her alone with that ? Give the girl some air. She’ll tell if she wants to.”  
  
“Are you hiding something from us, Barnes ?”, Natasha inquires.  
  
“Me ? Nothing. I’m just saying that you should leave Y/N alone.”  
  
“Leave me alone for what ?”, a calm voice rises under the kitchen frame.  
  
I swallow when my eyes meet her Y/E/C orbs, she’s wearing a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt with a Disney character on it and a blue hoodie from a band I’ve never heard about. She twists the sleeves with her finger tips.  
  
“Bucky, can I… Can I… Can I talk to you for a second, please”, she stammers.  
  
“Of course, yes. I… I’m following you”, I answer.  
  
I follow her in the hall, trying to be as far as possible from the kitchen and the ears of the rest of the team. She still twists the sleeves of her hoodie, looking at her feet.  
  
“I… I don’t know how to… How to say… that to you”, she finally stutters, her eyes finally meeting mine.  
  
“Just, let it go”, I reply.  
  
She sighs before breathing deeply : “I’m pregnant. And you’re the father James.”  
  
Y/N seems released. So that’s true, really true. I’m ready to answer her when a voice comes from behind.  
  
“And that’s how you ruin a life, congratulations Barnes !”, Sam states.  
  
The both of us turn our heads to the direction where Sam’s voice comes from and the whole team is here, looking at us with wide eyes, Steve, Natasha and Wanda’s mouths wide open.  
  
“Shut up Wilson”, Y/N suddenly snaps. “Don’t you see that we are trying to have a private conversation here ?”  
  
“A private conversation ? In the middle of a hall ?”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell us ?”, Natasha asks.  
  
“Because I didn’t think that there will be consequences. We used protections…”  
  
“Clearly not enough !”, Sam cuts her.  
  
“Sam !”  
  
“So what are you going to do about it kiddos ?”, Bruce demands gently.  
  
“That’s what I wanted to discuss with Bucky in private, but you interrupted, well, Sam interrupted.”  
  
“And we are going to discuss it in a private place but not in here as there is nowhere private in that tower, with cameras and an AI seeing everything we’re doing, come one doll, grab your coat, we’re going elsewhere”, I tell Y/N, taking her soft hand in mine before heading towards the elevators.

 

**Y/N’s POV**

 

Bucky drags me to the nearest Starbucks. When we got our orders, we find a place at the bottom of the coffee shop. I stay silent while I’m stirring my tea after having add sugar, staring at the window. Bucky looks down his steaming cup, none of us is talking. This awkward silence is uncomfortable.  
  
“So, you wanted to talk about what you are going to do about that baby”, Bucky speaks first, making me coming back to reality.  
  
“I wanted to talk about what we are going to do about that baby”, I correct him.  
  
“You want to include me ?”  
  
“That baby is yours as much as it’s mine. After all, we made it together, during a night that we don’t even remember, but we made it together, so yes, I’m including you.”  
  
“Thank you, I appreciate that.”  
  
Silence again, less awkward though. He sips his beverage before speaking again.  
  
“What do you want to do ?”  
  
“I don’t really know, maybe keep it and raise it at the tower or somewhere else if Tony doesn’t want me with a crying baby at the facility, after all I would totally understand that he wants me somewhere else, the tower belongs to him.”  
  
“I don’t think Tony is going to let you leave, all the contrary, that man considers you as his little sister. I’m really surprised that he didn’t punch me in the face after hearing that I’m the father of the baby you’re carrying.”  
  
“Maybe he understood that it was not the best solution. Anyways, if you don’t want to hear about the baby, I totally understand, I can do everything by myself, after all, we’re not even a couple, so you don’t have obligations on that baby, it can have my name and I’ll never ask you anything for our son or daughter. In fact, I can do it without you, for me the most important was that you know that a little child was going to have your DNA, you don’t have to play the daddy if you don’t want to”, I tell him before carrying my cup to my lips.  
  
“What if I want to ? What if I want to be a part of that baby’s life ? Will you let me ? What if, even if we are not a couple, and just friends, I want to raise that baby with you ? I know it’ll not be easy, our child will never see his parents together, it’ll see them with different people, but I think we can do it, don’t you ?”, he says, a glow of hope lightening his perfect blue eyes.  
  
“Are you sure about that ?”, I ask him, perfectly knowing that it’ll be difficult and that we’re probably going to be a strange family to the outside world eyes.  
  
“Y/N, listen. It’s probably my only chance to have a kid because of what happened to me and what I have done when I was under HYDRA’s control, someone wearing my name and having my DNA. After all, women are not lining up to have The Winter Soldier’s baby. I would have never thought about it just a year ago”, he answers, reaching for my hand on the table, his warm flesh fingers touching mine. “So yes, I’m sure about that, I’m sure about the fact that I want to raise that kid with you, if I had to choose someone, it would have been you.”  
  
I smile softly at him. We also have a deal, if one of us find a new companion, the other one will still be in the life of our child, neither of us is going to be jealous of the boyfriend/girlfriend the other will find. Back at the tower, we explain to the rest of the team our choice, they slightly seem surprise but are ready to support and help us.

 

**One month and a half later**

 

“I can’t believe that I’m going to be a grandmother and that you waited for so long before telling me.”  
  
“I’m telling you now, mom.”  
  
I put down a cup of coffee in front of her on the dinning table and one of hot cocoa in front of my chair.  
  
“Does your father know ?”, she demands.  
  
“No, he doesn’t, and I’m not telling him. Besides, he must be too occupied in Barbados with a girl probably half my age.”  
  
“Honey you are 28, half your age is a teenager.”  
  
“Yeah, well you know what I mean. And between us mom, after all he did to us, I don’t want him to know my child, he already hurt the both of us too much, I don’t want him to harm my baby, never.”, I say, tears forming in the corner of my eyes.  
  
“I know that sweetheart”, my mother moves her hand to mine. “Let’s talk about my future son-in-law. I assume that you must love him a lot to have a baby with him and that it might happen very quickly for you to not telling me that you were dating someone. So tell me, I want to know everything about the man that stole my only baby’s heart.”  
  
“Yeah, speaking of that, I don’t think you are going to like it mom.”  
  
“Why that darling ? Is there a problem ?”  
  
“No, I don’t think so”, I answer, hesitating on how I’m going to announce her that I’m going to have and raise a baby with the former assassin known as The Winter Soldier.  
  
She looks at me with wide eyes full of questions : “What am I not going to like ?”  
  
“First of all, know that the father’s baby and I are not a couple. We just shared one night after a drunken night, it was a one-night stand, but he’s someone I know for a while so that’s okay because, he’s a friend of mine”, I confess in a single strip.  
  
She looks at me her eyes growing wider.  
  
“That’s not all mom, and I think, that’s the part you are not going to like at all. Please don’t be mad at me and don’t be afraid.”  
  
“You are frightening me right now Y/N, so tell me now.”  
  
I take a deep breath before dropping my bomb : “The baby’s father is Bucky Barnes, mom.”  
  
“The Winter Soldier”, she yelps, one of her hands flying to her mouth in shock. “How could you let that monster touch you ?”, she adds, nearly screaming.  
  
“Mom, pull yourself together ! Bucky is not a monster ! I know from the outside he might still look like a cold blood assassin, but he is not. He is one of the most gentle and kind person I’ve ever met. Mom, he is free now, his mind is clear, and he is not controlled by HYDRA anymore. He is really involved in my pregnancy, he takes care of me, even if we are absolutely not dating. He is going to join us in a few moments, you will be able to talk to him and see how amazing he is. I would put my life and our baby’s into his hands. He is ready to anything to protect us, because we all know that even if he is not under their control anymore, HYDRA is ready to anything to get him back.”  
  
“So you are not safe here, because that HYDRA can come here at any moment. Why don’t you take your stuff and come back home with me in New Jersey, it will be safer than here.”  
  
“No mom, the safest place for the baby and me is where Bucky is. That’s where I feel most secure, that’s where I feel safe”, I tell her my eyes in the distance daydreaming, staring at nothing in particular, my left hand caressing slowly my still small baby bump.  
  
We talk about some other few things during a few minutes, when Bucky finally steps inside the living room.  
  
“Mom”, I say motioning towards Bucky, “let me introduce you James Barnes, your future grandchild’s father.”  
  
“Nice to meet you Mrs Y/L/N”, Bucky politely extends his hand for her to shake.  
  
“Like wise James”, my mother answers, surprised by Bucky’s good manners.  
  
“Please ma'am, call me Bucky”, he tells her before putting down a kiss on my forehead. “Hi doll.”  
  
“Hi.”  
  
“Hello, baby doll”, he crouches in front of my belly putting his flesh hand next to mine. “That’s daddy, how are you today ?”  
  
“You’re still so convince that it’s a girl, aren’t you ?”  
  
“I’m sure it’s a girl !”, he says looking at me intensely in the eyes.  
  
I chuckle at his assurance before losing myself in the sweet blue of his eyes, our hands almost intertwined above the round shape of my stomach. There are smiles on both our faces which are mere inches from each other. My mother suddenly clears her throat and it takes the both of us back to reality.  
  
“So Bucky”, she starts when he sits on the chair next to me, his hand still on my stomach. “Tell me more about you and what you are going to do for my daughter and the baby, and the way the both of you are going to raise it without being a couple.”  
  
During the next hour and a half, Bucky and I expose our plan on how we are going to raise the baby to my mother, she often nods agreeing to the fact we decided to share the tasks and after knowing that Tony was giving us a whole floor to raise the baby. When she leaves, she is reassured and has understood that Bucky is not anymore the criminal he was when HYDRA washed his brain.  
  
“Take good care of my daughter and my grandchild, James, I trust you.”  
  
“You can count on me ma'am. They are the most important thing in my life right now.”  
  
“Take care of him darling, that man is the kindest person ever. You are lucky to have him. He is a treasure”, she advises, pulling me in a hug.  
  
“I will mom.”  
  
“There is something I think you will realize soon enough”, she adds, taking my chin in her hand.  
  
I frown searching for what she is insinuating when the elevator doors open : “That’s my cue. I love you.”  
  
“I love you too”, I respond pulling her for another hug before she steps inside the cabin.  
  
I take a book on my bookshelf before heading to the balcony, still thinking about the words my mother told me ‘there is something I think you will realize soon enough’. What did she mean ?

 

**Two months later**

 

My belly really shows up now, it’s almost perfectly round. Thinking he was funny, Sam joked that I had swallowed a watermelon or a balloon, but he’s the only one who finds this amusing. We found out the sex of the baby and it’s a boy. When Helen Cho told us, Bucky acted as if he was disappointed, but in deep, I knew that he was happy to know that his name was going to continue to exist.  
  
So here we are, I’m five and a half months pregnant and dating someone. Tony tries to set me up with some guys from the tower’s lab and it seems that I found a match. His name is Mark, green eyes, black hair, he really is handsome and nice. We already went out three times, and he has no problems with me being pregnant with someone else’s baby, well, he seemed to have none before I told him Bucky Barnes is the father, he somehow started to freak out, but once I reassured him about the fact it was totally fine for Bucky that I date someone and that he could do the same, he relaxed. Tonight is our fourth date and I think things are going well to lead to a fifth and to a sixth, maybe something more then. Mark kissed me at the end of our second date, but I told him that I wanted to wait for things to go further, but when I closed my door after that, I surprised myself being disappointed that those lips didn’t belong to Bucky, that the hands that were on my waist at that moment were not Bucky’s. Bucky, who’s so kind to me since the day I told him about the pregnancy, about the fact that he’s the father of my child, he fills my every desire of food at any hour of the day or the night, like going to Subway at 3 am and bringing me back a vegetarian menu with the vegetables I love (I asked Mark to do it for me during our movie night during our third date, and he refused), he helped me choose everything for our unborn son from the crib to the wallpaper. He’s ready to anything for me without asking anything in return. I think I might love him. I quickly pushed those thoughts away, after all, Bucky and I are just gonna raise our kid, no feelings are going to be involved in that, just friendship, and it somehow makes my heart ache.  
  
Now, I’m ready to go, in hall of the shared floor of the team, Mark handing me my coat.  
  
“You !”, Bucky barges in, stopping in front of Mark pointing him, wearing an angry gaze making his bright blue-grey eyes darker.  
  
“Bucky what the hell ?”, I ask him, trying to push him away from my date.

 

**Bucky’s POV**

 

Tony set her up with some labs guy. I know I’m not supposed to be jealous but I can’t help it. She’s the mother of my future child and I insanely love her. After her mother’s visit, I confess myself to Steve who encouraged me to tell her the truth but I didn’t have the guts to do it, too afraid that she would reject me. So I stayed silent, seeing her with that Mark guy, I know they have a date planned tonight.  
  
Wandering in the tower, I pass by the labs and hear an interesting conversation.  
  
“So, I heard that Stark set you up with the pregnant girl”, a man voice says.  
  
“Yep”, another answers, and I recognize Mark.  
  
“How is she ? Is she a good lay ?”, the other asks.  
  
“I don’t know man, but if she gets pregnant each time someone fucks her she’ll quickly become the less desirable woman on this planet.”  
  
“She might be a good lay, I heard that even if she only spent one night with that brainwashed freak, they went at it a few times. My sister was here at the party Stark gave that night and because she drunk too much she fell asleep in one of the room on Y/N’s floor, and she barely slept. She told me that she heard the mattress innerspring squeaking, the bed headboard hitting hard the wall and screams almost all night. Believe me Mark, that one seems to be a vocal one.”  
  
“I’m trying to know it as soon as I can. She’s hungry, I think she wants it, I kissed her at our second date, and she seems starving. And believe me, that’s not the fact that she’s expecting the kid of that 40s dickhead that’s going to stop me”, Mark chuckles.  
  
“You want my true opinion, under her innocent and angelic face and behavior, that girl is a slut. Her friends are prettier than her to be honest. I’d love to pin Black Widow against a wall and make her scream”, his friend adds, before they burst out laughing.  
  
“I didn’t really have the choice, though, Stark almost threatened to fired me if I declined, but I must admit that yes, I’d rather have dating one of her two friends than the pregnant one. You know what she asked me during our third date ? We were watching a movie in her apartment, and she asked me to get her a Subway vegetarian menu. At 11:30 pm, under the pouring rain, and she thought I was going to get up and bring it to her. Finally, I don’t know if I’m going to fuck her though, even if I just want to have a good lay, just seeing her belly and thinking about what kind of freaky thing she’s carrying, just cuts me of any desire.”  
  
My fists and jaw clench. Hearing the way they are talking about the woman I love most in that world and my future child, my son, the only thing that could make me redeem myself of all the horrible things I did when I was under HYDRA’S control. I hold myself to come through the door and hit them until they beg for mercy, I want to show them the monster they think I am. I have to tell her, before she thinks that jerk is the love of her life, I have to keep Mark away from Y/N and our son, at any coast, even if she hates me after that, I have to do that tonight before they go on her date. I have to show her, show her that I know her better than he ever will. So I’m now walking towards the hall trying to stop her to go out with him.  
  
He’s slipping her coat on her shoulders when I barge into the hallway.  
  
“You !”, I nearly shout, stopping in front of Mark.  
  
“Bucky what the hell ?”, Y/N asks me, grabbing my arm to push me away.  
  
“You can’t go on a date with him”, I say.  
  
“And why that ?”, she questions angrily.  
  
“Because he doesn’t love you and I do !”, I don’t hold my screams this time, my confession resonating in the whole tower.  
  
Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open, she stands here in shock.  
  
“Don’t… Don’t… Don’t be ridiculous”, she stammers. “We… We’re just friends. You… You… You can’t love me, not… not that way.”  
  
“Yet, I do”, I state. “And I can prove it to you.”  
  
“You have nothing to prove”, Mark says, grabbing her arm and pulling her to him. “I’m the one she’s dating, and we’re going to be late for dinner and I might plan to spend a long time with her because it’s going very well.”  
  
“Maybe I have nothing to prove, but you have. Tell me, do you know how she loves her hot beverages ? Do you know what she does in front of Disney movies ? Do you know what she does when she’s alone or thinks she’s alone on a floor or in a room ? Do you know what are the three words she wishes to hear not in the same way as other people do ? And do you know where and with who she feels most secure ?”  
  
Mark’s gaze travels from my face to Y/N’s, and he opens and closes his mouth several times like a goldfish out of his tank.  
  
“I… I…”, he stutters. “She… She… She loves coffee of course, free of sugar. I think she sleeps because those movies are for kids. When she’s alone, she goes out to see people. I don’t know what those three words are and I honestly don’t think that it does matter. Where in the tower of course, what’s the matter of those questions ?”  
  
By the time he answers, Steve, Sam, Tony, Bruce, Natasha and Wanda appeared in the corner of the hall, looking at the verbal exchange as if they were watching a movie.  
  
“Wrong, you get all wrong. I was right, you don’t know her at all, and I had no reason to doubt about it after what I heard this afternoon passing by the labs. This is what you need to know about her, all those little things that make her being her and making her so lovable. Things you know when you date someone or when you are a very close friend or when you pretend to care about someone. You don’t know any of that stuff. First, she doesn’t drink coffee, she hates coffee, she loves tea, very sweet tea, no matter the taste of it, it just has to be very sweet. Then hot cocoa, when she needs to warm up, or feels sad, she puts cinnamon in it, whipped cream on top with sometimes chocolate chips on it, or nuts. When she drinks it, she always has a little cream on the top of her nose. She doesn’t sleep in front of Disney movies, she loves them. She cries in front of Bambi, Dumbo and Fox and Hound each time she watches it, even if she already knows what’s gonna happen. She hums or sings the songs in front of Aladdin, Cinderella or The Little Mermaid. You might think that this is childish, but that’s adorable. When she’s alone in the tower or thinks she is, she puts music on and sings and dances all around the facility. According to her, the safest place for her and the baby is with me, she once said it to her mother, she said that’s where she feels safest even if HYDRA is still trying to have me back, I wasn’t listening I just passed by and heard it. And finally”, I add, turning to her, “the three words she dreams to hear different way that people usually say it is : as you wish.” I take her hands in mine, squeeze it lightly and look deeply into her gorgeous Y/E/C eyes. “As you wish, doll.”  
  
She smiles softly before telling me : “As you wish too, James.”  
  
I lean my forehead against her before putting down a tender kiss on her soft lips.  
  
“You really do have a problem !”, Mark suddenly spits out. “So you’d rather be with that brainwashed dangerous assassin than with me. That’s okay, you can keep her, well I should say, you can keep them, her and your little freak. All I wanted when Stark set me up was a good lay and I finished with a pregnant girl expecting a baby from a beast.”  
  
“Take it back now”, Y/N says with anger pulling away from me.  
  
“I won’t.”  
  
Unexpectedly, her fist finds Mark’s nose and blood starts to sink from his face.  
  
“My baby and his father are no freaks. You are the only monster I see in here, Mark. Go away, I never want to see you again.”  
  
“Fine, I’ll get back to the lab and stay in there in order to never stumble on the both of you couple of creeps.”  
  
“Actually”, Tony’s voice suddenly rises. “You’re fired. Get your stuff and never set a foot back in that tower.”  
  
“Tony, you should also fire his friend. The one he’s working in, John, if I remember well. They both were insulting our girls teammates. If you check the videos, I don’t think you’ll like it.”  
  
“Believe me, I’m going to fire him too.”  
  
I’m turning back to the pregnant woman in front of me.  
  
“So, what about now ?”, she asks.  
  
“Well, I think there is a dinner reservation waiting for someone to go, so what do you say ? Would you come dinner with me ?”  
  
“I’d love to”, she smiles.  
  
I take her hand in mine, and we spend the night together, heading to her bedroom when we come back from the restaurant, soft moans and cries of pleasure filling the air while we learn to know each other’s body again.

 

**Two months later**  
  
**Y/N’s POV**

 

I’m seven months pregnant now and officially dating Bucky for two. We finished the baby’s room and moved together on the floor Tony gave us.  
  
Tonight, as usual, we are lying in bed, his arms around me, my back to his chest, his chin on my shoulder, his flesh hand rubbing gently my swollen stomach trying to feel the baby moving or kicking, whilst discussing the name we’re going to give him.  
  
“Come on, Buck, I’d love to name him after you.”  
  
“I don’t know. I don’t want him to think you always call him. Because let me remind you that you call me by my first name when you say you love me, when you’re angry or when you have an org…”  
  
“Shut up”, I say, putting my hand on his mouth. “Don’t say the ‘o’ word in front of our baby.”  
  
“Our baby is not even born yet so what if I say the 'o' word ?”  
  
“He has ears. He hears everything and starts to recognize voices.”  
  
Silence comes back in our room while I’m turning the pages of a baby name book.  
  
“Marry me”, he suddenly whispers, so low that I’m not sure I heard him.  
  
“What ?”, I ask, turning my head to him.  
  
“Marry me, doll. I want you and only you for the rest of my life. I want that baby with you and other after that. Marry me, Y/N.”  
  
“I… I… Yes !”  
  
“Wait, you really said yes ?”  
  
“Of course, I said yes you idiot !”, I answer him with a chuckle, rising as good as I can on my knees to turn to him, wrapping my arms around his neck before kissing him.  
  
A few days later, Tony organizes the wedding in one of his vacation’s houses. Something simple, only my mom, the team and their plus one, some members of the SHIELD. Bruce is the one who’s gonna marry us, Wanda and Natasha are my bridesmaids and Steve and Sam are Bucky’s best men. My mother is the one who’s going to walk me down the aisle, Tony proposed himself, but she told him that it was her place, not his.  
  
“I told you that you were going to realize something soon enough”, she smiles putting some cloth flowers in my hair. “I wish you got married in white, but, you are the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen, and my grandson will have the privilege to sort of be here for his parents’ wedding”, she notices motioning towards my unbleached dress.  
  
I choose to not get married in white, not in my state though, a seven months pregnant woman getting married in white, not for me, I love and respect my child too much for that.  
  
“My baby is getting married and having a baby on her own. I still remember you in your little crib, in your Minnie Mouse one size”, she says, grabbing my face between her hands. “I’m so proud of you and James is a good man, he managed to go through all his problems. We all have someone made for us, and he’s the one made for you.”  
  
“I know it now mom, I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it. I love him so much. I love them both so much”, I add, putting my hand on the bulge of my dress.  
  
“I know sweetie. Now come on, or you’re going to be late to become Mrs Barnes.”  
  
I chuckle, and she helps me to rise on my feet. A soft knock is heard on the door and before I have the time to answer, Tony’s head pops in the opening of the door.  
  
“So how’s the bride to be ?”, he asks, a huge grin on his face.  
  
“I’m fine Tony. Thanks.”  
  
“If it wasn’t because of me, Barnes and you would never have getting married.”  
  
“I know Tony, thank you for having setting me up with one of the most jerkiest man in the universe, so I finally realized that Bucky and I were made for each other.”  
  
“You’re welcome princess ! You hear that little Barnes, your mom and dad would still ignore their feelings, or at least would haven’t admit it yet if uncle Tony here didn’t make your mommy date a total jerk. You know what you should do to thank me, name your son after me, Tony Barnes, that’s sound great.”  
  
“No way, Stark ! And I don’t think that Bucky will agree to that.”  
  
“Well at least I tried ! You should come now, someone is waiting for you and getting more and more impatient.”  
  
He passes the door again before backtracking : “ Y/N ?”  
  
“Yes, Tony ?”  
  
“You’re gorgeous.”  
  
I smile to him and he goes back outside.  
  
“Ready ?”, my mother asks.  
  
“More than ready.”  
  
She helps me to rise on my feet, before opening the door and join Natasha and Wanda on the other side.  
  
“You look stunning”, Natasha says, when she sees me.  
  
“Bucky’s gonna love it !”, Wanda states.  
  
“Thanks girls !”, I answer, pulling them in a hug.  
  
“Come on ladies, we’re gonna be late”, my mother calls us.  
  
A few seconds later, I’m standing next to Bucky, his hand tightly holding mine, while Bruce is doing the ceremony.  
  
“Do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N as your beloved wife until death tears you apart ?”  
  
“I do”, Bucky answers looking deeply in my eyes.  
  
“And do you, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, take James Buchanan Barnes as your beloved husband until death tears you apart ?”  
  
“You bet I do !”, I respond, my eyes never leaving Bucky’s and hearing a chuckle rising from the guests seats.  
  
Tony took care of everything, organization, food, music, we had nothing to worry about. After the dinner and the friends’ speeches, everyone is invited to dance. My arms around Bucky’s neck and his around my waist, we slowly sway to the rhythm of the music, his heart beating in sync with mine. We’re quiet, nothing exist apart us until the moment he finally speaks.  
  
“You know what, that’s funny.”  
  
“What ?”, I ask him.  
  
“Us. I would never imagine that, even after the first night we spent together, after the way you kicked me out of your bedroom.”  
  
“What do you mean ?”  
  
“Doll, I thought it was a one-night stand…”, he chuckles. “And now, we are married. And I love you and the little one more than anything”, he adds.  
  
“I love you too. The both of you. Both of my boys”, I answer him, his forehead leaning on mine.  
  
The two last months of my pregnancy pass in a blink of an eye. Until one night, I wake Bucky up.  
  
“Buck, wake up. I think it’s time.”  
  
“Not yet doll, it’s still dark outside.”  
  
“Bucky, I mean the baby.”  
  
“No sweetheart, not yet, I’m sure you’re dreaming.”  
  
“No James, I’m not dreaming. My water just broke !”, I yell, making him sit suddenly.  
  
“Are you sure ?”, he asks, rubbing his eyes.  
  
“Pretty sure. It’s like I peed on myself.”  
  
“Contractions ?”  
  
“Not yet, but we have to go to the hospital.”  
  
“Go to the bathroom, clean yourself, get dress, I’m cleaning all of that whilst you’re doing it, I grab your bag, and we head to the hospital”, he says, helping me out of the bed.  
  
“We’re going to be parents”, I say looking at him, a wide grin on my face.  
  
“We’re going to be parents”, he mirrors my expression, putting a kiss on my lips.  
  
I head to the bathroom while Bucky removes the wet sheets from the bed. When I’m ready to put on a t-shirt, a violent pain makes me bend in two and dropping to my knees.  
  
“BUCKY !!!!!!!”, I yell so loud that I’m sure the whole tower heard me.  
  
“What ? What’s happening ?”, he barges in the bathroom.  
  
“Contractions”, I manage to say between pants. “It hurts, we have to go, now.”  
  
“I don’t know if we are going to make it on time. I think you’ll have to deliver the baby here.”  
  
“What ? No way ! Helen is not even here.”  
  
“Yes, but Bruce is here.”  
  
“He’s not that kind of doctor !”  
  
“Maybe, but he’ll know what to do.”  
  
Bucky picks me up in his arms, and calls FRIDAY to wake Bruce up and join us to the medical floor.  
  
“You know I’m not that kind of doctor, Bucky”, Bruce tells him when he comes in the room where Bucky put me down.  
  
“I know that, but you know some medicine, and we need you, it’s an emergency.”  
  
“Give me a minute”, he finally answers after a few seconds, looking for medical instruments he’s going to need to help me deliver the baby. “FRIDAY, call doctor Cho at her home, tell her it’s an emergency, and she’s needed here for the Barnes’ baby delivery.”  
  
“You can count on me, sir”, the AI answers.  
  
“Okay, now, Y/N, I’m sorry but I’ll have to take a look down there”, his hand shows the area between my thighs.  
  
“I don’t care where you’re going to look, just do something, it hurts so bad”, I cry, tears rolling down my cheeks. “Please gimme something for the pain.”  
  
“Don’t worry, it’s coming !”. He turns to Bucky : “I’ll need you to hold or talk to her time I give her the injection.”  
  
Bucky nods, Bruce moves behind me while my husband comes in front of me, his forehead leaning against mine.  
  
“It’s gonna be okay baby, I promise”, he whispers softly, his metal hand holding one of mine, whilst his flesh hand strokes my hair, while the needle penetrates the skin of my lower back. “You’re brave, you’re the bravest person I know, even braver than any of the Avengers in that tower. You’re giving birth to our baby and it takes more courage than any mission against HYDRA or any evil organization existing.”  
  
I nod, trying to focus on his words while Bruce injects me the second medicine, which will immobilize my legs. I wince at the feeling of the liquid filling my veins.  
  
“Now, I’ll need you to lie down”, Bruce states. “I’ll put a drip in your arms”, I nod, doing what he asks me. “I think Helen will be here in any minute.”  
  
And Bruce is right, Helen arrives barely ten minutes after the medicine has made its effect.  
  
“I thought you were going to give birth to the baby in the hospital ?”, she asks.  
  
“I thought it too”, I answer. “Please Helen, tell me that it’s going to be quick.”  
  
“It’s not going to be long, Y/N, don’t you worry”, she says, looking under the sheet that Bruce put on my legs to cover me. “Doctor Banner, thanks for what you’ve done until now, but I think you can go back in the hall, there are some unexpected guests waiting for that little boy to burst into his first cry.”  
  
“Well, I’m… I’m leaving then”, Bruce stammers. “Good luck. See you when little Barnes is here.”  
  
“Thanks doc”, Bucky tells him before he pass the door.  
  
“It’s not gonna be long”, Helen says, popping her head out from under the blanket. “Bucky, sit behind her and hold both of her hands, she’s going to need a support. Y/N, it’s going to be hard now, I’ll need you to push when I’m telling you to. Now breathe and push.”  
  
I do what she says, tightening Bucky’s hands in mine, squeezing them so hard that I have the impression that his metal one bend under my touch. Then once again, Helen tells me to breathe and push. This last for at least an hour and I feel exhausted when the doctor finally says that one last push will deliver the baby.  
  
“I can’t do it, I’m too tired”, I pant, sweeping the sweat from my forehead.  
  
“You can do it, doll”, Bucky whispers in my ear. “I know you can. Let’s bring little James into the world.”  
  
“Little James ? But I thought you didn’t…”  
  
“I changed my mind, let’s call him like me, you wanted it so bad.”  
  
“You can’t imagine how much I love you James Buchanan Barnes !”, tears roll down my cheeks once again.  
  
“And you can’t imagine, how much I love you Y/N Y/M/N Barnes. Now, push babe, let’s meet our son.”  
  
And that’s what I’m doing, pushing one last time and here he is between Helen’s hands, a mop of chestnuts hair, opened blue eyes, plump red lips parted, a soft cry escaping from them. Doctor Cho takes a wipe to clean him before cradling him in a white blanket.  
  
“Here you are little one, welcome to world baby Barnes, you are going to meet your mom and dad now”, Helen says, handing us the baby wrapped in the blanket.  
  
“Hey baby”, I whisper to him, softly touching his cheek. “I’m your mommy, and just behind me, it’s your daddy. You are already so loved James, you were not planned, but you are so loved.”  
  
Bucky changes his position, sitting next to me instead of behind me. He’s looking at our baby without daring to touch him. I turn to him, my gaze full of all the love I feel for him.  
  
“James, take him.”  
  
“No, I… I can’t.”  
  
“Take him my love. He’s your baby too after all.”  
  
“Maybe, but, what if… What if… What if I hurt him ?”, I hear the worry in his voice.  
  
“You’ll never hurt him.”  
  
“O… Okay.”  
  
He finally takes him in is arm, looking at him in awe. I snuggle into Bucky’s side, watching his first interaction in flesh with our baby.  
  
“Hi… Hi James, I’m your daddy. You and I share many things, our first name to begin, because your mommy wanted it, it seems that we share hair too, and maybe eyes. When you will be old enough to understand, I’m going to explain you a lot of things about me and my life, because I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of and that people reproach me, I try to redeem myself ever since I’m free from the people that were controlling my brain, I think you will be the best way to redeem myself. You, your mommy. I love the both of you so much.”  
  
We stay a few more moment just the three of us, Helen quietly left the room to give us privacy. Bucky has James in his right arm and holds me with his left one when we hear a soft knock on the door.  
  
“Can we come in ?”, Steve demands, popping his head through the door.  
  
“Yes, of course, you can.”  
  
“He’s gorgeous”, Wanda says, walking towards us and looking at James.  
  
“So, does he have a name ?”, Sam asks.  
  
“Yes, we agreed on something”, Bucky smiles.  
  
“Tell us !!! Don’t make us wait !!!”, Natasha excitedly says.  
  
“James Steven Anthony Barnes”, I tell them, looking at Steve’s and Tony’s reactions, seeing their mouths hanging.  
  
“You are really serious ?”, Tony questions.  
  
“Yes we are. We agreed on it earlier. You both are our best friends, Tony you’re like a brother to me, and Steve has known Bucky is whole life, so it was obvious to us.”  
  
“Thank you”, they both say at the same time.  
  
We look at them smiling, glad to see they are happy, until Helen comes back and interrupts everyone from their contemplation of James, pushing a cradle inside the room.  
  
“Alright ladies and gentlemen, you will have to go back to bed and let the newly parents and the newborn have some rest. And also, I think that little man will have to eat very soon.”  
  
The team looks disappointed but complies at Helen’s order.  
  
“We’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest”, Bruce says leaving the room the last, following by Helen, who closes the door behind her.  
  
Bucky lies James in his crib beside the bed and comes back next to me. I cuddle again in his arms and before I can even realize it, I fall asleep in the arms of the man I love. When I wake up, a few hours later, Bucky is sitting in the armchair next to my bed, James snuggling on his chest, his stubble cheek on our son’s head, the feeding-bottle empty on the nightstand. Despite his fear of hurting him, Bucky handled everything instead of waking me up. I look at them fondly. This is going to be a brand-new adventure. 

 


End file.
